What a day, what a day, for an autodafe!

DR. VOLTAIRE.  After the earthquake which destroyed three-quarters of Lisbon, the Holy Inquisition discovered an infallible remedy for preventing such disasters in future.  And the remedy?  To purge the city of its heretics in a splendid auto da fe for the Glory of God and the edification of the general public.

(As he speaks, on the large un­curtained stage, we see the public square in Lisbon.  There is a raised dais for the Grand Inquisitor and his attendant judges.  A gibbet and a whipping post.  Two heretics in tall penitente hoods, kneel before the dais.  The populace is excitedly milling around and singing:)

What a day, what a day,
For an autodafe!
What a sunny summer sky!
What a day, what a day,
For an autodafe!
It's a lovely day for drinking
And for watching people die!
What a perfect day to be a money lender!
Or a tradesman, or a merchant or a vendor!
At a good exciting lynching
People stop their penny pinching
And the tightest fellow turns into a spender!

  What a day, what a day,
  For an autodafe!
  What a lovely day to die!
  Tourist trade, tourist trade,
  Will be coning our way!  
  It’s a bonnie day for business,
  Better raise the prices high!
  For an inquisition day this is a wonder!
  Not a raindrop, not a cloud or sound of thunder!
  So we’ll gaily get polluted
  Watching sinners executed!
  It’s a perfect bit of weather to  get under!

(Voltaire e Lisboa - Candide)